Grieving mother. That’s what my blog tag line says. And even though sometimes it feels like that is all or most of me, the truth is I am so much more.
I am a mother, to children I walk beside and one I carry in my heart; to children I met at birth, and one I met on the brink of adolescence; to children I have watched, and continue to watch, grow up, and one who will be forever a toddler. While they are not mine through birth or shared DNA, but through the beauty of adoption and the blending of families, they are mine in all the best ways.
I am a wife. I am nobody’s other half, but my marriage to Justin does not require me to be. I am a whole person- whose best qualities are enhanced, and worst qualities forgiven- in a partnership with another whole person. We work. It helps that I also kinda think he’s magic.
I am a daughter, an oldest sister, a friend. I am thankful for the love of the family and friends I have in my life, and I feel profoundly lucky for each of them. I often wonder how so many of the best humans found their way into my little life.
I am a compassionate, loving person who strives to make the world- or at least my little corner of it- better than how I found it.
I screw up. As much as anybody does. I am learning to be more forgiving of myself when I do.
I am open and honest about my life, from the joy and love I experience, to the times my life has been…well, a bit of a suck fest. I think it is important to take “taboo” subjects- miscarriage, infertility, anxiety, child loss, in my case- out of the shadows so we can all see that we are not alone. Imagine if we could create spaces where we all feel comfortable being ourselves, and speaking openly about the things that eat us up inside. Imagine the freedom, the connections, the bonds we would create! Seriously, imagine it! Feels good, right?
I am a perpetual student. I truly enjoy the experience of learning and discovering. I even like to do research. One might use the word “nerd” to describe me, and I would not be able to argue.
I am an educator. A high school librarian, to be exact. I chose a career that perfectly blended my love of knowledge and reading with my desire to make a difference. I am inspired daily by the young people I teach, and I often feel I learn much more from them than they ever do from me. I consider it an honor and a duty to be an advocate for them.
I love music. It is a vital part of my life. Enough said.
Only recently have I had the courage and confidence to call myself a writer. Ironically, my profound loss has led me to find my voice on the page. I have discovered that I have something to say, and it’s a nice bonus that others may actually want to hear (or read) it.
I sincerely hope you find something useful from what I write. And I hope to the moon and back that reading about my grief is the closest you ever come to knowing it.